This is the first of what will likely be a handful of posts about what happens after you come home from the honeymoon. I think that the whole “life-after-wedding” idea is something that people are focusing more on these days because we’re hearing a lot more from people (especially brides) who struggled after their wedding was over. From what I’ve seen, these are the three most common complaints:
- Sadness because the engagement, wedding, and honeymoon was a lot of fun, but now it seems like all of that fun is over.
- Disappointment because after all the work, planning, and money, it doesn’t seem like it was worth it in the end.
- Emptiness because the wedding occupied so much of the bride’s time in the months (and perhaps years) leading up the wedding.
I don’t think that every bride goes through negative emotions when the wedding is over, but I do believe that it’s more common than you might think. In fact, “postnuptial depression” is now a common condition that apparently affects a ton of women. There’s a whole lot of build-up and emotions built into a wedding, especially when it’s a big destination affair (like a Disney wedding) that has eaten up a ton of the bride’s focus and energy for a long time. If it’s a great day, it makes sense that the bride could experience a sense of loss because the day has passed, and if it’s not a great day, it makes sense that the bride would experience frustration at having stressed out so much only to be disappointed. Plus, is it really that strange to think that a bride might experience all three of the problems mentioned above as she comes down from that frenzied wedding high?
If you’re one of the brides who never had a negative thought after the wedding was over, you may be very lucky. I didn’t experience too much “wedding detox”, but then again our wedding was a massive four-month marathon thanks to the fact that we had three receptions. By the time our events were officially over, I was so burnt out on our wedding and weddings in general that it was a long time before I even wanted to look through the photos. Plus, it’s not like I ever got that far away from our wedding after my burnt-out days had ended. I mean…you know…I blog about this stuff all day. We’ll be married two years this January, but my wedding planning days are still going strong. So, I’m probably not the best example of a post-wedding bride.
What about you? Are you a bride who was surprised at some of the feelings that came up after the wedding? Or maybe you haven’t gotten married yet, so you’re not sure what to expect when the event has come and gone. Either way, I’ll be doing a few more articles on this over the next couple of days and I’m interested to hear if you guys know what I’m talking about or if you think that brides just need to get over it already.
I’m officially in the 2nd trimester as of today, which is pretty cool because we’ve never done that before. This is the time when most people start telling other people about the pregnancy, but we have a good three week head start on that one, so there isn’t much difference between today and yesterday except for the fact that I’m now in new chapters of all those preggo books.
I am relieved to say that I’m not anywhere near as tired as I have been for the last two months, but I’m still sneaking in the occasional cat nap. How lucky am I to have a job that works around my schedule? I’m not a nanny anymore, so it’s all social media and freelancing for the time being. I might be picking up one of those 8-5 jobs up at the university, because I joined the list for temps, but since I get to pick when and where I work it won’t be a pregnancy problem at all. I briefly considered looking for a “real” job to pick up more pay in a short amount of time, but it seems so dishonest to take a job when I know I’m pregnant if they think I’m going to be there for a while. Temp work is just easier right now.
My morning sickeness is almost all gone by this point. Actually, it probably is 100% gone, but it’s hard to tell because I have a stomachache at the moment. I could blame it on the baby, but it’s probably a result of all the leftover Chinese food and tater tots I had for breakfast. Bad, bad Carly. I was actually surprised to learn that I had lost two pounds between the 8-week and the 12-week doctor’s appointments because I feel like I’ve been eating like total crap. Apparently there is something to those frequent, smaller meals no matter what you’re eating.
So, now that I’m in the 2nd Tri, here are some things I’m looking forward to in the next 16 weeks:
- Putting a nursery together (so weird to think that we’re actually at that point!)
- Really thinking about what we’ll need and starting to purchase/gather items
- Breaking out the maternity clothing (I do have a baby bump, but it’s small enough that only Kyle and I really know it’s there, so I’m good for at least another month or so)
- Finding out the sex of the baby (Reeeeallly hoping for a girl here, but my boy vibes are getting stronger and stronger)
- Going to Walt Disney World without Kyle for a mini-trip at 16 weeks (ok, this has nothing to do with the pregnancy, other than that it will be fetus’s first trip to WDW…you don’t think they make souvenirs for that, do you?). I’m looking forward to this trip, but I’m looking forward to the 3rd Tri trip even more because Kyle and my brother will be coming along and we’ll be vacationing for a whole week! Hopefully I’ll still be able to do that much walking around 32 weeks…