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25 Things to Look For When Picking the Future Father of Your Children

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  1. Kindness. Above all – kindness. Kindness to kids, to dogs, to waitresses, to people who cut you off in traffic. Lots of kindness. It comes in handy when you’re tired and you can’t find yours.
  2. Fun. Fun even at the doctor’s office or DMV.
  3. Strong arms for carrying those babies all day.
  4. A nice singing voice (or even an off-key voice who at least knows the right words to the lullabies).
  5. An understanding of play. Not the rules-based, how-to of playing specific games, but the general play that happens when someone isn’t using something the way it was intended and you can roll with it and make them feel like this is the most fun you’ve ever had.
  6. Commitment to teamwork.
  7. Patience.
  8. Displayed affection, both for you and for the kids. This is the person who will help you teach the kids how people get loved well.
  9. Internal motivation to be helpful in the kitchen. If they aren’t always comfortable cooking at the stove, it’s nice when they’re at least on top of keeping it wiped down.
  10. Nonjudgemental attitude towards personal appearance, particularly after a run of sleepless nights and busy days.
  11. Loud praise when personal appearance is above average.
  12. Contagious laughter.
  13. Ethic for work, passion for family.
  14. Spirituality, whether it’s believing in an organized religion or just believing in the good parts of humanity. It’s so hard to find faith in the positive sometimes so you need someone to not only help show it to your kids but also to help you find yours when it’s missing.
  15. One or two special recipes that can only really be made perfectly by Dad.
  16. Shared family vision, at least on the number of warm bodies the house will someday hold.
  17. Correct grammar….or trying-to-be-correct if still imperfect.
  18. Flexibility on things like whose turn it is to do chores or pay certain bills.
  19. Humility for his mistakes. Amnesia for yours.
  20. Family that explains how such a good guy happened.
  21. Romance because it’s part of the fun, not because of the event or day on the calendar.
  22. The foresight to keep a credit card clear for emergencies.
  23. A box of the things he saved for his kids before he was old enough to have his own kids.
  24. At least a working knowledge of how things like government, conservation, and the judicial system operate.
  25. A sense of adventure. Because that’s exactly what the two of you are in for.
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6 Comments

  • Reply Anonymous

    I cannot love this enough. Fantastic!

    January 13, 2014 at 5:39 pm
  • Reply Hope at Disneyland

    Awesome list!

    January 13, 2014 at 6:02 pm
  • Reply Eve

    This is the *perfect* time to find this list. Thank you. Glad mine meets most of that-or will meet most of that when relevant! Glad yours is all of that list! What an adventure you’re on!

    January 13, 2014 at 9:40 pm
  • Reply J. Darling/Humenay

    Beautifully said my friend!

    January 13, 2014 at 9:58 pm
  • Reply Victoria

    That is the best list! <3

    January 13, 2014 at 11:40 pm
  • Reply Gaylin

    Thanks, this list make me remember how good of a dad I had. I still miss him.
    I didn’t find anyone who fit enough of this list to ever have kids! Glad you found a good one.

    January 14, 2014 at 2:27 pm
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