Happy birthday to my darling girl.
The fun thing about the oldest kid having birthdays is that this is also the anniversary of parenthood for Kyle and me. We can high five each other tonight on the fact that everyone is still in one piece and nobody is living in a cardboard box. Woohoo!
30 things I’ve learned:
1 /// Don’t say “This is the grossest thing ever” because immediately something twice as gross will happen.
2 /// Creeping in to see if the baby is still breathing isn’t limited to the first 6 months. That crazypants habit is hard to shake.
3 /// Vinegar cleans pee stains. Hydrogen Peroxide cleans blood. Poop is a bleach situation.
4 /// Stretch mark cream is complete crap. You might as well rub toothpaste on your stomach.
5 /// Secondhand books from the thrift store make your kid as happy as brand new books.
6 /// Don’t buy more than one kid app at once or your kid will never play with any of them.
7 /// Stop buying stuffed animals. They multiply in the night like gremlins.
8 /// If you play music with questionable language in the car, it is inevitable that your kid will learn those lyrics long before any other song.
9 /// Clerks and waiters will be nicer to you if you brush your kid’s hair. And probably your hair.
10 /// Back up photos of your kids in at least two locations, in case your hard drive bites the dust. Don’t leave them on your phone.
11 /// Toys that only do one thing don’t get played with as often as the boxes they came in.
12 /// All kid movies can be borrowed from the library. Lots of kid movies suck, so watch them before you buy.
13 /// The best emergency toys to keep on hand include band-aids, dice, and little race cars.
14 /// You need other moms. Some are a little weird, but when you don’t sleep or shower you’re also a little weird so just roll with it.
15 /// If your kid won’t poop, leave the diaper bag at home and go shopping without a diaper or a new change of clothes. A blow out will definitely happen right around the time you have a full cart of groceries.
16 /// Baby carriers are only fun if you like being pregnant with a thirty pound baby.
17 /// Applesauce in pouches is the best thing ever. It works for babies, toddlers, and moms who forgot to eat breakfast.
18 /// Talking to people about sleep training or potty training is the fastest way to feel annoyed with everyone.
19 /// The cheaper kid music is, the more annoying it is. Spend a lot on short albums by people you like. Those hundred-song albums are just awful.
20 /// You can use baby powder as dry shampoo.
21 /// You can mix cloth diapers with disposables if you want. You don’t have to be all one or the other.
22 /// Your kid thinks you’re pretty so quit griping.
23 /// Limiting screen time is nice in theory, but if you want to take a shower or put groceries away, Sesame Street can be your best friend.
24 /// Reading a few books to your kid every day does make a huge difference, even if only to give you something positive you can tell yourself you did that day.
25 /// Gym memberships without child care are completely worthless. And expensive.
26 /// Clothes that can’t be washed easily shouldn’t be worn. By anyone.
27 /// Making your own baby food is a pain unless you’re one of those people who doesn’t let produce spoil.
28 /// Holiday and birthday gift overload happens fast. Rein it in.
29 /// The best way to get ready for having kids is to work on really liking the person you have them with. That seems to be the thing that will get you through the hard stuff.
30 /// The hard stuff is worth it. Even the very hard stuff.
Isn’t she awesome? I think she’s awesome.
Speaking of awesome, that birthday poster is a free download from Petite Lemon. You can get it printed off at your local office supply store for less than $10. Cute, no?